Where do those who die go? How to talk about death with children

How is heaven? How are the angels? Is my grandpa in heaven? These are part of the questions that children ask themselves and address to adults when someone dies. A theme that in the middle of the COVID pandemic It has become even more obvious and has even complicated various family conversations.

How to talk to children about death? That is the question that the book tries to answer. "Where do those who die go?: A proposal to talk about death with boys and girls through children's literature and biblical texts", written by the academic of the UC School of Education, Maili Ow, and the professor of the Faculty of Theology, Mario Inzulza. The free digital book provides guidance to adults, and specifically to teachers, to face the issue through literature and biblical stories.

According to OW, the text arises from a research agenda started in 2017, supported by the UC Pastoral and the Research Vice-Rector, with a focus on Chilean children's literature and how death is represented in it. “Something that we have discovered in the research is that, from the pain and the difficulty of talking with boys and girls about the subject, a 'narrative of silence' is generated: not talking about death. However, we cannot remain silent, we must find a way to face this situation and be able to accompany, and that is the objective of the book”, added the author at the launch held on Thursday, April 21.

“This book, which arises from a long-term research agenda, invites us to reflect on the importance of talking about these issues. (…) Death is a reality that is difficult for us and is sometimes painful to deal with, even more so when we have to communicate it to boys and girls”, said the rector of the Catholic University, Ignacio Sánchez. “Nowadays little is said about her, It is often a taboo subject, particularly in front of children, because we think that this is how we avoid their suffering. However, death is something natural that is part of life, as is birth. He added.

The digital book is the result of an investigation supported by different instances of the Catholic University and that involves different faculties and disciplines. The text "shows what it is to do a university, especially in a time as gravitating as it was to live through the pandemic," said the dean of the Faculty of Education, Alejandro Carrasco. “The book has enormous educational value, because it reminds us and renews the role that the school and teachers have in their most elementary task, which is to train discernment and provide language for the various experiences that boys and girls have. they will face in life, in this specific case, death”.

talk about death

The presentation of the book was in charge of the Vicar for Education, Andres Moro, who spoke about how important it is to "turn painful or joyful topics in life into spaces for conversation." The priest explained that death is present in the lives of all human beings, but the difference lies in how we want to talk about it: "And here it is reinforced that the most appropriate place to talk about death with boys and girls is the families: with fathers, mothers and circles close and protective of children is where these issues should be developed. But it is also considered very honestly that many adults find it very complex to work with it. For this reason, in the second place, where the matter can be touched on is in the educational community. The school and the college become with the educators a space where you can talk”.

In this line, the research focused on the experiences of teachers when they face the issue of death with their students, said the academic and researcher of Education UC, Guillermo Zamora. "There is a consensus that speaking and reading about death in school education favors the spiritual development of students, and one of the most powerful subjects to talk about is the Catholic religion, since the program of the subject makes it explicit that one of its objectives is precisely for students to recognize the finitude of the human being and reflect in relation to the transcendent dimension. and religious of their lives. That is why teachers are invited to ask questions such as what happens after death”.

According to the academic, the theme can become a link space, as well as an experience that teaches, both for teachers and for their students: "Religion teachers have seen that the subject of death and dying has become necessary to treat, especially in times of pandemic. Today children ask more questions than before: what is heaven like?, what are the angels like?, is my grandpa in heaven? Being able to participate and share how they feel about it is an issue that links us.”

The instance was attended by the dean of the Faculty of Theology, Fernando Berrios, and the director of UC Pastoral, Benjamin Cruz.

Where do those who die go? is available for free download.

Relive the launch: